Should've Known Better

with every drop of energy I squeeze out of myself, I'm depleting myself for what's to come. I'm hanging on by the tips of my fingers. I'm clinging to an unstable tight rope. But when I fall, I will brace myself. I will shield myself from the inevitable impact that I know will cause me to spiral. But also I will not keep quiet. I will yell, cuss and scream all the way down. Not at the people that left me to endure this alone.. but at myself for believing that they would catch me.