shooting star

I'm scared to see so much sudden color in a world of grayish tones. Like a shooting star on a dark night. It draws me in, but it looks so beautiful I can't quite believe it. Why would something so perfect be real? And why would I deserve it? I try to continue it, I want to maintain it, but it's so unexpected that I don't know how. I don't know what I should do, how I should speak, how to act. I'm terrified of making a mistake and losing what I'm achieving. And terror paralyzes me, making me lose everything. Although I hope this time will be different. I still have hope after all the pain.