Sexual aussult

"ill love you for ever" i can still feel your hands on me "ill never leave you" your touch stays with me for ever "your my favourite person" i wash myself everyday hoping to not feel "Dont tell anyone." When did "i love you" become this. This feeling that when ever you or your name is brought up i get sick, nervous, disgusted? My question is why? Why me? why couldnt i say no? why couldnt i back away? Why was it me...?