seventeen.

I remember when I was younger I couldn't wait to grow up, playing pretend, and dressing up like we were adults, pretending we had a job, I couldn't wait to be 16 so I could finally say I was a teenager living like all the girls in TV shows.. who knew I'd end up this way, 17 and still feeling like I'm behind, I didn't think I'd make it past 14, I didn't plan for this to actually happen, I didn't plan to grow up.. I didn't plan on living this long, quite frankly I had planned on dying soon. but I guess I really did die 3 years ago on that hospital bed. lil me was there, standing over me, looking down at me in fear but I didn't understand that'd be goodbye, just as soon as her light faded, I went into survival mode, and haven't left since. I'd live from that point on for the sole reason of just keeping myself alive. turning 17, was the last thing I'd hoped for.