self-sabotage in disguise

Self-sabotage disguised as indifference. I'm aware of the harm I cause myself, I continue to do it out of habit, out of convenience. We're back to square one: the comfort zone, the monotony caused by fear. Perhaps out of laziness, or because I feel I don't deserve more. It becomes a heavy loop, that slowly ends my life. Where I exhaust my time and allow my brain to win the battle, consuming me.