self-loathing.

i try and bask in my own skin but there's no progress there's no self-loving win. it's difficult, despising your own self but why do i find it so easy? comparing myself to the others comparing, comparing. even my brothers say i look a little odd scrolling on my phone , wishing i looked like those. but in reality every photo needs to be scrubbed down grab a hose out and blast all around all filters , all makeup gone but that won't stop people they'll dress up and hide their insecurities whilst mine stick out infront of me killing me inside why can't i look like them i ask myself and i wonder if looking like them is worth it all. i need help someone help me to fix the imagery of myself.