Seeing color

I see things in black and white because I saw too much in my past. Not one side of the color passes me, though. It was like I was living in old movies. At night, I lay my head down. I think about all those days that I was looking for some hope. I couldn't see the bright light. It was like I had my eyes closed. My past was full of dark days. Now, I am living in the present. There is a change, but it is too far to see. I was trying to put some color in my life. But the darkness overcame the color. Now I see with my heart. So my heart can mix this color. To paint me something beautiful with all those colors my heart made for me. I thought I would never see something this bright before. I had to put my shade of faith on. I close my eyes for one minute when I open my eyes. I saw something I thought I would never see again. It was bright as can be. I couldn't believe my eyes. But I also wondered if I would ever see the light of all. As of this moment, I still can't believe it. As far as I can see now—the color changes. The color in front of me is dull. The color behind me is white and black. It's like repeating the same thing. I guess that's why the pain won't go. It is holding on to those dark days when only darkne