secrets

I never got to tell you the things he said and did. I didn't want to hurt you. Knowing that it happened to me would hurt your heart and I couldn't have that. I was building up the courage. The way you spoke out against your "Him" was inspiring. You just never knew how much. I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. But your dark was a safe dark. My dark would destroy you. You'd want me to tell you more. You'd want to kick his ass. I wouldn't want you near him. Oh, my gorgeous little warrior. Is it selfish that I wish I'd been able to tell you? I never wanted to make you live with this pain like I have. You'd know just what to say to help me heal. The pain he caused broke me. Several times. I had no help or support. I survived until I met you. And yet, I would relive the agony he put me through a billion times over if it meant I didn't have to feel this. Your non-existance. The hole you left in my world. (I don't blame you of course. You were stolen way too soon.) I have to go it alone now. I'm glad you died first. I never would have wanted you to feel this pain. (Even though I always loved you more!)