sea of sorrows pt 2

I write to escape, commiserate and cry not openly, my words are my tears they express what my eyes have forgotten every click of the keyboard a raindrop drip drip dripping, seeking deeper seas where it is at home with the homeless a single cry for help in the sea of sorrows it's almost comforting, to know you are here that my voice speaks to you, and you alone that maybe being alone is an illusion because the sea is us all, hell is home though I hate it. home was always fear home is where you ran from, towards fun but fun is a lie. home hurts because it's real because it matters, because it's hard won I've always been weak. I still am weak all I can do is bluff, puff, voice gruff pretending I'm a man and not a child hoping I can become the man praying for it to be real, like Pinocchio all I can do is fight this losing battle because it's all there is, all that matters if I can't become better, to save myself if I cant die and disappear into the void and all that's in store is suffering galore I might as well pull myself up by my strings And dance the dance, play the part lie until my nose taps my shoulder looking back maybe see how far I came because I'm going nowhere but under and drowning forever is true hell