Scream of the Broken Heart

It hurts not just a bit but a lot, to the point that it kinda feels numb. Am I that stupid and dumb? Ain't funny how I expected for it to go like I planned, Ain't funny how I thought I might succeed, now I'm stunned. Stunned that I didn't make it through. Is this for real? Am I awake? Or it might just be a nightmare and all of this is fake. I thought it's only for beautiful thing that one could be speechless, But it's also on painful things that one could all do is to take deep breaths. I feel helpless and lifeless; Like a wilted flower only waiting for it's death.