School is back

First day of tenth grade only a week away im scared I was online mainly last year for reason explained on another day There so much i want to say I dont want to have lunch alone because I'll be the weird kid. the kid people talk about and judge. I dont have any classes with any of my friends. I dont want to have to talk to new people they are so fake and judgmental. all i think about is what they think of me. I crave their approval, their praise. I dont want too, but I do and I dont know how to stop. I dont want to do group projects because I have to talk to people people who are judging me and how stupid i am or annoying or how fat I am. I hate standing in front of a class because then they all look at me. and they will see me how i see me. I hate wanting to talk to guys but not being able to because im scared and akward. I just want guy friends. not just a boyfriend but I feel like i never will and it kills me.