Saudade

I recently came across a word,  That felt like a breeze of woe; It gave me a feeling of desolation  That is quite difficult to stow. And people use euphemisms To give fancy names to grief,  But all of them I came across Meant agony, for a brief. How I wish this year could end  With a snap, but if it does,  You'll become a person of the past And I'll have to wake up from this doze. I wish to hold onto this year,  Unwilling to let it go; But this year has caused me so much pain, A bereavement impossible to show. We yearn and cry and writhe To squelch the anguish; But feigning happiness even for a while Leaves us languished. Left heartbroken by your passing, I wish to lacerate everything,  Most likely, myself... In search of peace only you can bring. Sometimes it's not easy To voice affliction with wringing eyes; And people often don't understand  The saudade behind the quiet cries.