Rewritten - Dear Momma

Whenever I first opened my eyes, I saw you. I never knew that you were gonna hurt me that badly. I saw the Dollar signs in your eyes. I wanted to be gone or even just erased. When I was 7 years old, I thought about doing something that I couldn’t take back. I wanted to feel safe, comfortable, understood, and even loved. But I felt like you set me aside for Meth. I thought I would be the next Ethan. I saw the pain behind those beautiful green eyes. I couldn’t save you from yourself. I think about you daily and how you’re not the same person anymore. The meth that you’re using is leaving scars on me. When we were on that unkept property, and those police sirens were on. I was scared that I wouldn’t see you again. These seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years, I feel like I was nothing but a pawn in your drug addiction ways. I still feel hurt, but I’m proud of myself because I’ll be done with your story soon. But I still love you dearly, Mom, and I tried to save you. I wish you could hear me like I do with you. I know I’m different from you, and I’m glad. But I love you, Momma, and I know I won’t make the same mistakes you did.