Quiet Chaos

Is it better to speak, or to die with it, that was the question, the question, the same question every night, and the silence always answered louder than me, i thought if i kept my mouth shut the pain would stay still, but it crawled, it crawled up my throat, it pressed behind my teeth, like words with claws, scratching, scratching, until i swallowed them back down, safer that way, i said, safer that way, but silence is not safe, silence is a knife turned inward, and every day i let it in a little deeper, speak, or die with it, speak, or die with it, speak, or die with it, the words circle like crows, tearing pieces of me, in the dark they twist, shadows of my own unspoken thoughts, clawing, spinning, tearing, and still i wonder which is worse, maybe speaking kills me, maybe silence kills me slower, either way, there’s blood on my tongue. ~ Vexhart