pushing through

Something has a hold of me. I am just trying to push through the thunder and light in me. I can't see what is holding me back. Where will I be free to live my life? Or I am stuck in time. They have too many chapters open. But it is always that one. Keep changing its ending. But the beginning is always the same. I have lived a repeat of the same story in my life. But I realize I am the only one who can see it—trying to push back for my feelings from the world.