purgatory and a story

infinity hours gone by loaded sweating tripping spinning no sleep from sinning , every sense in high confusion can't tell my reality of illusion not sure what's for real , am I asleep or awake , are yall made up and fake,, no good comes from this dark road I'm on and I think that my mind is on the run and I know I'm lost , I know I will pay the price the loss the cost, lonely except never any quiet or privacy stuck in her curse of purgatory is there any hope for me? haunted by vivid memories in the dark and the light for forgiveness and redemption out of reach and out of site , let me turn back or even destroy the clock insanity tic tok tic tok , grinding teeth fist of rock shaken to my core impossible to ignore I did this and it's my fault , so imature self centered egotistical ignorance broken promise and shattered love I let her down when push came to shove , I turned her away when she needed me most like a fool I told her to just go fucking leave I don't love you get out I deserve this torture no doubt , i took my faithfull beautiful guardian angel straight into my twisted nasty deceptive hell and now I'm left only with this disturbing story to tell , can't forget the curse she left on me never be free.