pstd sometimes / personality d

is this just part of the illusion or am I going thru a POST DATED episode???.... PTSD!!..??. am I just going thru the motions of emotions lately??.. haha.. am I ? I can't really tell .. sometimes things feel like they make sense . . other times well I have began to question my reality as soon as it gets home at night ... .. where the fuck u been ?? I can't stand it ...!!! my face!!!... the image ... the mirror needs a m ake over ..all over my floor ...pieces pieces ...memwios ..that are hidden away n my past mind??... I am who I am to day ...this moment ...is who I am ..right now ...how many I help u ...???..I am here if u need anything ..??..hahaha.. love ?? oh $hitttt!!! *..I look down an feel the gaping hole in my chest ... !!! *... wtf ..??.. now who snagged and ripped my heart from my chest this time ?.. hello?! .. I need that to live !!! ... you do realize that right ..?