Poisoned Lilac

My stomach is twisting with anger and regret. Why's she so fortunate to get these things, and I wasn't? She treated me so terribly, but she's so beautiful, how does she deserve this beauty? I'm so jealous. I'm livid. I'm sad. She's still my friend. Someone I need to support. even if it hurts, I'll go through the storm. My Lilac is poisonous, watching her makes my knees buckle. Is this love or envy? I belong elsewhere. My hatred is subtle. Oh but my true love, I mustn't forget. Lilac and I won't be the end. (An unprofessional ramble)