Poetry in love though in doubt

You said "I love you", I admired it my heart, But when I am all alone with my thoughts, when you are not me, It just starts creating a vigilant spark, with my own bare thoughts I try to make it stop but as I tried harder I just kept sinking in it more, even harder and deep before. I sometimes find your texts dry but my conscience's drier. "I don't know what happened but something must've happened" the thought I always thought to myself when the hour of darkness began arising while you were gone. I always regretted my choice of not talking to you more, "Do I even matter?" "Do you not find it odd, the way I talk to you like I was here with you even before you were born." I know it's probably just my overthinking nature, but sometimes I do find it odd, "Would you have even loved me if I would've not approached?"