please take me

I wake and put on a fake smile say I'm okay when im not pretend I'm doing fine for a while barely listening while lost in thought crying inside while others are laughing screaming kill me please kill me now while training at work the new staffing keeping it together I don't know how I hide at least once a day to find calm to catch just a small bit if breath closing my eyes speaking into palm not asking for life no, asking for death please take me and take me quick God make it all stop take me away I dont care how, accidental or sick dont keep the hurt going dont make me stay. my heart is already tore and dying I spiral still broken wishing I was dead a hole left open from all my loves lying wishing she would have killed me instead