Please stop

Your right I'm not who I say I am I pretend to be but I don't think I can . Your right I lied or denied I know you knew, it still puts tears to my eyes that each day I battle to hide Ive had many that vowed their love It was with you that broke my own heart and it tore my soul apart I've been fighting so long, more proud than strong. A white smile and facade of believers denial You've been right along, soon you mimicked a reflected charm I chose to live there, pretending, I didn't care blissfully unaware I was already partly broken when we met My child gone and a mothers right lost to the plight I use the sanctuary of drugs and false love to numb thru the passing nights I never meant to hurt you it was me that I was wanting the pain to demolish You aren't perfect and sadly you never lied about where your heart will never reside I'm sorry I held on so long I know it was wrong The ways I use to escape my addiction to you Have left me unworthy of anything true. Don't ask me to let go bc it's all that I know. just let me die here in all of my cowards fear.