Please, For My Peace

Sometimes I wait on you to leave me I wait for you to say I'm too much I've been called it before I just want my gut to be right I want you to hate me I want you to say I don't wanna be here So I don't feel guilty for wanting you to leave I want the relief of knowing you left And I tried to stay I know that sounds manipulative But I haven't done anything to make you leave I'm just tired of thinking of you in negative ways You haven't done anything to deserve my thoughts You love me and I can't handle it I can't believe it Because I don't remember it in your absence I don't remember you loving me I don't remember you as a person I forget your character But I remember your silence The same silence I fill with my thoughts of you hating me And I feel bad because you don't hate me I just hate myself enough to provide my heart things to mourn