Playing with the Alphabets

Trying to figure out Which state I am in Drowning in big blue inside Trying to fight the tides Playing with the alphabets Trying to get myself Rearranging the 26 letters Just to feel a little less sad Hoping for a sentence to Help me make sense of my sadness Playing with the alphabets Trying to make sense Because I don't make sense to me Wishing I could make Sense of the deep blue in me Playing with the alphabets Wishing to paint Out these blue hues with better colors Maybe pastels or neons I wish I could make sense to myself Playing with the alphabets Rearranging the 26 letters Wishing I could rearrange This hurt into something A little less sad Playing with the alphabets Trying to feel a little less sad Trying to find a sentence So I don't sentence myself To these lonely days