places that no longer exist

to stand on a little hill in the garden of my childhood home alone and to feel the june air making me feel even lonelier but not anymore to imagine you sitting across me completely imaginary but i have met you at last so not imaginary anymore how do you call places that still exist but somehow they dont? you cant touch the magic cant feel the intensity cant tug on the open wounds and maybe its a good thing cause somewhere deep inside i wanted you to see me as i was then but no not anymore