pills & addiction

I take 8 16 Sometimes more Every once in a while i take as many as i can My feet and hands tingle And then its all numb My mind goes quiet As if they fix my mental pain too I take as many as i can Listen to music And try to fade away Into the empty space Its dark there Yet not scary I forget everything I forget i live Some nights i hope it never ends I hope i never wake up Its a scary heaven Its a mess Yet its so calming Its like being manipulated Its wrong But it doesnt feel wrong Not untill after After you relise how horrible it was for you But then you want more You want the same dark silence You wish you never took them at the start But its too late The desicion was made Addiction has no sympathy It doesnt care who you are or how hurt you are It makes false promises It makes the pain go away But after it all comes back You chase it to feel better And before you relise it You need it to feel okay The heart and mind are gifts Thoughts and feels can be amazing But the same thoughts and feelings can break you they can ruin you till theres nothing left Even when i feel empty and numb I crave pills It gets worse To the point i cant not I try I really do But truth is Im addicted I cant ju