"pick me"

i have a "pick me" sort of attitude when I get frustrated with the moon I start fearing nobody will ever love me it's the middle of the fucking afternoon this happens every time I get my hopes up way too high I haven't even signed a love note yet by that time they're saying goodbye a whiplash of feelings I wanna throw up in the car I'm nauseated by the way I can only be admired from a far "you're so beautiful" he tells me "it was a hard decision to make" "we regret to inform you" I feel my heart start to break I try to sleep but stay awake it's two in the morning now I almost miss my stop on the train except the ride was hours ago it's on continuous loop in my brain "you'll make someone so happy" little serotonin pill me "I'll love you someday" maybe that's a future I don't wanna see is it really that hard really to find me and stay I have a "pick me" sort of attitude when I have to ask what pushed them away I take my self respect and put it through a confidence shredder what does the writer have to do to for once be the love letter I'm yelling at the moon the sun doesn't look away how polite really to never have the right words to say I just wanna be chosen is that too great a task PART 1 OF 2