people pleaser

I am not who I was born to be, taught to be a people pleaser, taught to feel responsibility for others actions, even if they are injuring to me. exhaustingly empathetic, I often feel as nobody appreciates or loves as greatly as I, narcissistic as it may be. I wish to feel the touch and love I give another. I hope day to day to convince the people I know to love and appreciate me as I do them, but why does it hurt to know the answer is that it won't happen, when I've been telling myself that since the start. I wish to meet someone like me, to have someone who treats me grandly, who treats me with every ounce of effort I give. I break my back because I'm scared to disappoint the people I love, and it's poisoning, I can't help but accept that I need to lower my standards, because not everyone is like me. I'm tired maybe they will change tomorrow