part7

even if I lost everything first I still got off it by grace I belive I was gonna end it all and run away.... I wrote letters to my kids my two livin sons and my daughter wasn't born yet I was crazy in my mental state after all the loss of the baby and than a new addition and being alone and fighting for my boys to feel so targeted lied to and attached.... I wosh I could change my past but I know everything happens for a reason and I'm just glad I at least have had my boys in my life even though now my oldest isn't right now which one day I pray he will be agian I miss my son too.. I'm trying to end this writing because now here I lay on my bed with me just typing away to make sure I write about all of this about my parents my birth my life my calling my reason my child see hood my teenage rage crazy rebel with no cause days my funny trips n adventures weather as a kid or adult. shit that made no sense ad shit that I could've avoided from the fucking start... her and I'm relationship and my children and my struggles my fall and my comeback my plans my pride my prayers my poems my drawings my well everything.... I just know that in this so called life we live there's a meanin behind every single existence