panic disorder

"chronically mental ill" is what they say "Your symptoms will never go away" My own breathing is all i hear I just want to disappear Half my life spent on the stairs Half my life spent trembling Is it worth it, to go on? "Your fear is a protection", they say But what wants to harm me so bad, That my mind considers this the solution? What must be the question to get this answer? And who asked it, in the first place? When did it start? And when will it end? And what will it turn me into? Does my pain make me beautiful? Or does it just left me even more hurt Than before? Can i be loved through glarry eyes and trembling knees, bleeding fingers and sh aky words, can i be loved despite my fear? "Chronic mentally ill" is what they say "Your symptoms will never go away" But am i more than this disorder? And am i more than my mind?