Pain numbing pain

It won't let me cry Or let me figure out what it's about Crushes my chest Attacks my heart And now there's a lump in my throat Turns my mind into an unending maze A million thoughts in a buzz I block it out, but it won't go away I need pain to numb this pain So I cut a vein Then another and then another Now, I have a new pain to focus on One that I could heal and make go away It's all I think about It lets me cry, bleed, not think At least I know what it's about As I've collapsed on the floor Painting the walls with my blood I carry this pain and hope it never ceases Because it numbs my emotional pain