pain

As I lay in bed I'm struggling with heavy feelings not knowing if I should speak about it or keep it inside.it kills me to write this but my heart is shattered into pieces all over again I have to fix the broken glass I love,I give,with my whole heart and all I get is fragments of love the way people express their love for me is name calling,one famous word is Stupid girl,oblivious to the world,live in her own world Not knowing I choose to ignore,I choose not to hear and I choose to forget for my peace sake. I try my best but sometimes I wonder if,am I trying hard enough for them to love me to accept me Yess all I need is love,love that I did get when I was small.im not asking for validation.im asking to be loved like a child am I maybe too much? am I asking for too much? am I not enough to be loved? am I too much to handle? all these am i's things that I shouldn't be asking or doubting yet here iam with my am i's