pain

I only wish I had your strength to live I only wish I had some strength to die Purgatory means different things To different people and I dont believe in God. But still I find myself stuck here Neither here nor there, nothing to pray To but a quick death, not this beast Lying in my bones that gnaws and burns Theres is no wisdom anymore I walked through and shut that door For good, and im no happier than I was my mistakes are spirits trapped in text I wander through life like a drunken ghost Swaying through people, Cold and distant Longing for warmth I felt as a child Instead I denounce to blister strips My pain relief is like trying to empty The sea with a thimble, but I cling To those 30 minutes like a free climber Scaling a mountain without ropes I said I dont believe in God but thats far from the truth I pray To death and hope it releases These heavy shackles And lifts me to a place i do not know