one mind, four walls

I look down at my hands. I notice the red sparks sprouting from the corners of my fingers. I feel a slight burning sensation. All my fingers are raw, bloody, and aching. Why? Nothing. From overthinking it, as always, without reason or sense. Giving up my time and health on things and people who don't deserve it. I stop sleeping, my dark circles under my eyes increase, and I stagger. It gets to the point where I can't sit still without falling asleep. If I'm lucky, I stay on my feet. I start spending my days locked away. I stop answering and live within the same four walls. My days are summed up as me rotting away in body and mind, stuck in bed. I feel myself becoming unsound. I need to get out, but it's impossible. It's like I'm chained to my own room, forced to stay in bed. I can't get dressed, I eat nonstop, and I start smoking again. I don't know how to move. I either leave now or I stay forever.