~Old Habits~ *TW: Self-Harm*

~Old Habits~ The slightest graze against me, serving as a reminder of my painful mistakes, what's two years to waste? As I watch my time circle the drain, I sit and ponder on what I could've changed, how I felt pushed to such an old habit, even still I know the sharp decision is mine to bare, I fell through the weakened barrier I had built, I won't blame myself for the brokenness of the wall itself, but I chose to walk through it, I chose the oh so familiar path of that old habit, over talking to the people I care about, instead of what felt like inconveniencing them with my problems, I took my issues out on myself. In theory it's better to die quietly than to cause a scene, and yet I feel like a failure, like I've failed myself and I've failed my friends, I promised I'd reach out and yet the superficial lines in my skin stay to remind me of how I broke it, how two years went to waste, how something I was so proud of died at my hands, though I didn't bleed, the blood sits on MY hands, when it heals over, my time restarts, two years gone, a fresh page, a newly blank slate... How I plead that future me doesn't make the same mistake.