old enough to know better

I've made a very bad mistake one that's hard to fix I worried to much about being alone instead of just having some kicks. I allowed my self to get in this bind by not following my own rule. now here I am with my feelings hurt feeling like a fool. It seems like all I do is give then give a little more. a lot of times I get yelled at I don't even know what for I find myself thinking about it what if I just said no getting up and gathering her stuff and telling her to go. it hard to be in a relationship when you just don't know I know that I don't feel loved I keep thinking it will grow so here I am all bound up unhappy and all stressed out not knowing what my future holds drowning in all this doubt.