Of Depression & Suicide

Time immemorially , I've yearned for an easey Death The joy of simply ceasing to be. Many a times I've fancied a dangle - a dwarfed drop to an impromptu Death To hang by a thread far-fetched or better yet my belt deliver me far away from my Birth. Many a times I've visioned velvet - red , not Christmas not Valentine's, but the flow of blood oozing from my golden veins. Colours fit for a Queen's garments Though the cleaners would differ in sentiments Many a times I've fantasised the deep sleep. Laying motionlessly , calm and collected like a sheep. Yet so iron cold and stiff like anchors on a cruise ship I'd put myself down to an eternal nap But who would tend my Rose and open the tap? Many a times I've longed for an eternal black Vision and life all bleak To sleep under - six feet in the deep and thick Then I ponder my fear for the dark , How no sight of peace would make me tremble and shake. Many a times I've longed to be dust , Fly away like the wind so fast . I affirm that would be best. Many a times I've yearned and longed for an ease