Obsessive And Compulsive

There is a voice, Or rather, A disturbance. It tells me, "Eat, or your mom will die," "Dont eat anything, or youll be in pain." I dont want to think these things, It just ... Happens. And I feel so guilty. I feel guilty that I cant eat Because my head and body Will Not Let Me. I feel guilty when I dont finish my food, Because this thing In my head Tells me to finish it all in One sitting. Sometimes I feel too full, But I dont want anything bad to happen. So I eat even if Im full, Or I starve, Or I throw up my meals. I know this is a disorder, I know what its called, And I wish it would go away. It has caused me so much pain: Eating disorders, Disappointment, Shame, Sadness. My mind is obsessive over my weight, My body, And it wants complete control.