Nullity

I have been deceived, by parents, science, and my faith, deceived into believing that all returns to a steady state, that things can revert, that my folly can be undone. Yet I have heard, entropy ever rises, even ants retrace their paths through pheromones, erasing pencil marks, tearing thin sheets of paper, seas reshaping their sands as waters flow back to valleys, even the passage of time leaves a trace of its path. My sins are laid bare— forgiven, forgotten, but never gone, the pain etched on others, their hatred linger, not in others' memories, but deeply etched in my own, rendered still in the quiet of my mind. I yearn for a time without change or entropy, before the Almighty said, "Let there be Light," when Chaos was yet to exist, when neither I nor my sins were known, a state of nonexistence I would trade my being for.