nothing turns out as you hoped

a painful life Tbh I never really deserved this. none of us deserve this right? hoping for things that never come. hoping that things would be different before a certain age and that age comes and passes you by just like that. you try again. this time not having so much high expectations towards some seemingly impossible things. in a way you begin to accept that life is not all about 'dreams' and 'fairytales' like these people who have made it that way ... say. we are just not all from the same block. not all of us grow up in cities and estates where that dream can come true. somehow hard work is now tiring and "trying to make it out of poverty" is now eating your mental health away. why did I have to learn all this the hard way? why is life so unfair? why do I have to always fight for everything to be okay? even peace, laughter, joy and more never lasts. having a religion seems to not help at all either. I'm afraid that where I'm headed is a dark path that I'll never be able to find light again. with all my strength, I'm trying, trying to be the best that I can be, trying to make people happy, living for them, living ... because that is the only thing that I can do. It's painful, but "TryAgain" I guess.