nothing but pain

As the dreadful moments cross my brain, I can never seem to find a way. I try, and try, and try, But all I remember is that I'm further away. As I climb into bed, I think to myself.., why do I draw red..? Why, just why, just why.., can I never get a  break? why do all my smiles have to be fake? I've cried all my tears.., Just to have none left for my older years. I've got no future ahead, except for drawing more red.