Not who I want

I'm so confused, it isn't right I don't know, there's a fight in my mind This is your fault, at least that's what I'll say I just wish sometimes you'd just go away I don't know how to feel, you're not what I want But yet I do? In a way? Is this a weird taunt You are not what I expect, everything is wrong Why do I like you? I haven't known you for long! You're the opposite of the perfect man, You have tattoos, act gross and never have a plan! But you're kind to me, and open up, too It makes me feel special, like I'm your boo You're the opposite of who I am, You're passionless, you don't give a damn, You break the rules and act all tough While I have to worry if my work is enough I know its stupid, we literally just met No joke, around two weeks ago I bet I know we're friends, and I crave something more But at the same time, it's as bad as horrid gore I think I wanna ignore you right now Not cause I'm mad, but I don't know how, How to process these feelings, inside my head After all, I am a square, whose thoughts want her dead.