Not Better

In my most honest moments I know that I don't want to get better The disease in my mind is my oldest, best friend Comforting me, wrapping me in a shell keeping the world away Always there, always listening, always taking Yes it brings with it pain, sadness, hurt, ache It's true that it tends to steal happiness, peace, relationships I can't help but know the isolation is heaves upon my life But unlike any friend Any family Any Love I know it will never leave In the absence of hope, truth, purpose, or an erasure of memories that tear at my sanity In that absence I'd rather be broken than happily drugged and empty I'd rather not get better