Not anyone's first

I smile in rooms where no one looks, A shadow slipping through their books. Their laughter blooms — not mine to share, I sit in silence, thin as air. I give my all, they take what's light, But fade away by end of night. A second thought, a passing name, A comfort called but never claimed. I hold their pain, their secrets too, Yet when I break, there's no one who— Stops to see my shattered part, No hands to hold my heavy heart. Not the first call when joy is near, Not the warm hug when storms appear. I’m not the dream they fight to keep, Just quiet rain they miss in sleep. But still I stay, though torn, though tired, With quiet hope that once inspired. Yet deep inside, I start to see — Maybe I should be mine to be. -Aadhilakshmi