NEVER MY WANT BUT I HAVE TO

I never had any idea of being reckless but from today I have to never wanted to live a life unholy but It benefitted with nothing by being holy I never wanted to fail in my exams but after all my efforts I ended up failing I never wanted to live a poor life but even the shoes on my feet are lended I never wanted to be a drunkard in my life but now I understand why my sister chose to be one I never wanted to be pessimistic in life but optimism made me feel like having false hopes I never wanted to be immoral in any single way but the. immoral seem full of joy that I can't seem to access I never wanted to be violent in any way but violence seems like the only dose that heals I never wanted to be aggressive with everything but being calm only brought me more pain I never wanted to be an extreme introvert but being an extrovert made people misunderstand me I never wanted to be lonely but being social reminded me how much am never fit I never wanted to doubt God but believing in Him makes His word lies this is. because all I prayed for no single prayer seemed to be answered I never wanted to be suicidal but I find no reason for existing in this heartless world Maajah Poetry