Never Feels Like Home

You ask what I feel, You ask have I had thoughts Of hurting myself Thoughts of ending my life. Well what I feel is easy to say Yet the words I have to Chose from could not convey. Lonely is what I feel. Empty and yet so full. It's unreal. Thoughts of hurting myself? Those are there, though seldom. More and more it's Thoughts that hurt myself. Thoughts of ending my life? Those I have grown used to. They started at age seven. They will not stop Until I reach heaven. You would find it frightening If you knew the thoughts That happen daily in this head. It takes only to wake most Days to trigger the darkening. You think this man likes to be alone? The answer in truth is.... I do like it, Yet I hate it just the same. There is no simple answer When you ask for My thoughts or how I feel. As for being alone, It's my safe place, Though it never feels like home. Michael Lowe 9/3/2021.