NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!

excruciating moments of agonising bliss filling my skull with water and intoxicating me towards my own surroundings, the pounding of complacency, irreplaceable, and yet isn't there some peace in that? Dont I always crave familiarity? The familiarity of my father's apathy and ego in a scrawny, teenage body; if you love me, then you'll look me in the eyes and tell me that you do, but you CANT. And why is that? Shut down, let down, beaten up, beaten down, beaten all fucking around, or perhaps just beaten senseless. My moment in the sun, evaporated, never mine in the first place and never mine again. Who would pick me? What makes me so compelling? Never again will I believe a boy with my whole heart. Never again will another read me poems of unspeakable horrors with such a sweet, velvety voice. I relish in the toil, I relish in the flesh and blood, the mess, grime and filth. But please, is it really that taxing to take a fucking shower, bitchboy? But is it even that deep? Was it ever? Broken is not beautiful, but God, how I would love, in another universe, to admire each and every one of your cracks and breaks.