nagging

I have this nagging feeling that im going to end up alone, like im waiting for some epiphany to have my mind blown, because who loves the poet if they write as if time is fleeting i put a stethoscope to my heart just to double check that it was still beating i dipped the paintbrush into water just to seep color into my mind. I have this nagging feeling that im nobody's to find, that I'll spend years waiting just to realize nobody ever came. I changed myself completely just to realize i could have stayed the same. I have this nagging feeling that wraps around my finger like an invisible string that makes the sentiment forever linger that hope is full of helium, always raising to the sky. I got my hopes up, and now im forced to ask why. I have this nagging feeling that it's for everybody but not me. That romance is something to read about but never firsthand see. I have this great idea that will never see the light of day. I'd be a kind lover, i promise I'd be thoughtful in every way I'd be considerate and careful and accountable and kind. I have this nagging feeling that never once leaves my mind that nobody was chosen. That god put me on a different path, and i keep trying to add excuses to an explanation that