my suicidal

today I'm tying to hold the tears course got damn they feel like an insult to myself I wish I could disappear with the wind and just fade away like colours my suicidal baby you told the lie that wasn't us it was you and you never had me I only love you when you were lonely that was my bad baby what you said wasn't not the truth you only played me you were just playing games all the time it just games while I wanted someone I can call mine you refused me and when I need non you blame me for not being there all these games all these lies and everything you ever said to me changes how I feel about you now I feel nothing you made me miss my first love because somehow he just love me it just that sometimes it hurt in love and sometimes it last you are just a lost fellow and I'm not yet to play the game again