My Shattered Heart

I'm drowning my heart is pounding my soul walks away but my body continues to play a game that breaks my heart I long of a restart to live in a better place but I'm nothing but a disgrace a disaster that's alive unable to thrive It's more difficult than I can explain how do I live through this pain? it's suffercating my colour fading drops of my black tears I cry I want to die I can't remember who I used to be only that I used to be free but now I'm being chased by the monster in my head sometimes I wish I was dead then again why not aim the gun, take Ur shot because I don't care anymore the monster has taken over my cour and filled it with black In my heart appears another crack almost at breaking point bracing myself for the smash it happened in a flash theres a million pieces my sadness increases no heart, now what? I get a piece, my throat I cut