My Mother:Part 1

In the depths of her pain, my mother fell, Unbeknownst to me, a secret to tell. Her addiction to pills, a silent foe, Leading her mind on a relentless blow. One pill made her happy. One pill made her sad. One pill made her loopy- Valium to be exact Why did no one caution her, Of the dangers that lie in that many pills? What was it within her that yearned to fill, The brokenness she couldn't face, the emptiness she couldn't kill? Visions on the screen, though the TV was off, I witnessed her anguish, watched her slip and get lost. Returning from school, To see her "Washing demons off the walls" Locking my door at night, afraid of her creeping down the halls. "Wake up, Haven, they're listening," she'd insist, Smoke detectors dismantled, her paranoia persist. Never feeling safe, my only guardian a ghost, Yearning for protection, fearing what lurked close Going to school, paying bills, a young girl losing her adolescent years. No time for little girl tears. Mom is in the mental hospital again I'm living it up in her apartment with all of my friends Playing it off like it's so cool and so fun, Oh look it's me the teenager with so much freedom. I wish I had structure, I wish I had rules